Sunday, September 12, 2010
The time has come and we are now in the mist of the New Year. We went to Shul, we heard Shofar, we ate sweet things, and now it is a time of reflection, a time to ponder, a time to say i'm sorry. This is a hard week because self reflection honestly is hard, i know i am my own worst critic and sometimes can be very hard on my self, ok most of the time. I have to be honest this year i went into the New year a little scared. Last year i was faced with a c-ncer scare, the year before i gave birth to a special needs child. Even though Rozie's birth i look at as a positive thing in my life and i thank Hashem for making her just the way she is, it still was a scary surprise at first.
With this all said i am a little scared to see what i am sealed in the book of life for this year. What new things does Hashem have planned for me. I'm praying for some calm. This Yom Tov i almost felt like i was walking around in tiny little shoes hoping not to step on anything that might go off. I just want some New Year quiet, but Hashem doesn't let me tiptoe he always has something up his sleeve.
We were walking home Shabbos afternoon right after Rosh Hashanah and we took our usual shortcut through a beautiful neighborhood with some of my favorite homes. I always wondered who lived in theses homes, and today i would find out. Up to our stroller came the sweetest little Pixie i have ever seen. She was five but tiny like my Rozie, and perfect like my Rozie.She stopped us with her big smile and a light that glowed all around her. Her father explained that she liked babies and they lived in the house we were walking past. She kinda fluttered around my stroller admiring Rozie and talking to my Dovie, i couldn't take it anymore i needed her attention so i got down to her level and she told me about her school and how she loved leaf blowers and lawn mowers, her father had to translate a lot of what she was saying, but i didn't care i would of sat there all day listening until i didn't need a translation anymore. Her father explained that this little pixie has a chromosomal difference that they have never been able to diagnosis. Her medical conditions were extensive including open heart surgery at 10 weeks,but all i saw was perfection. I saw the most perfect little Neshama smiling and talking and walking around and all i could feel was warm. She made my chilly New Year warm.I didn't feel like tip toeing anymore because like this little perfect pixie, life is also perfect. Whatever the package, diagnosis, etc. Hashem only knows perfect. May each and every one of you be sealed for a New Year of Hashem's perfection.
Posted by Sheva at 9:15 PM