Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Please take your r-word and .........

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I really contemplated this post. I couldn't decide if i wanted to do it or just let it pass without mention. In the end i decided it needed mentioning. Today is 03-02-2011 the day we are all suppose to pledge to stop using the R-word , you know that dreadful word people use to describe someone like my daughter.
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I couldn't decide if i wanted to sit here and preach about what is the PC way to refer to someone with a cognitive difference. I really didn't feel like that is what i want this blog to be about.Me preaching and advocating right in everyone's face forcing my values until your either sick of me, or conform to shut me up. I want you to read from my experiences, i want it to be raw and real and hope you make your decision from there.
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So here i go...When Rozie was born i was told within seconds of her delivery that she most likely has Down syndrome, and that she has Mental Retardation. I heard the word Mental Retardation through out her hospital stay, by doctors, nurses, and social workers explaining our daughter's fate.
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I never challenged it because i thought it was a medical term, but every time someone said it i wanted to cry, the word just stung, retardation, retard, retarded. The title Down syndrome did not sting but the r-word cut like a knife. I thought it was just me, and i needed to come to terms with my mentally retarded daughter.
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I soon learned that accepting the r-word is not part of the process of acceptance. The r-word is just a yucky word, and since the day my sweet girl was born i have hated that word in any context. In medical terms, in joking terms, even in referring to oneself, and i really don't like it when it is used to describe my daughter. Could you imagine how different things could have been if my medical team said to me "your daughter looks to have Down syndrome which means she will have some cognitive differences". No yucky feeling , no knife jab, i can accept a cognitive difference, but retard i cant accept that.
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So you see my friends im not trying to get all PC on you, im not trying to take away your freedom of speech. What im saying is the R-word is outdated ( its even being removed from medical texts in some states), and no longer should be used in any way or form. Why? Because it hurts. So please follow this link here and take the pledge.
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Lets start looking at people with a cognitive difference as productive members of our society as people who have active roles as: husbands, wives, employees, tax payers, voters, parents,activists, spiritual; leaders, teachers, students, and many many many more titles, but retard, that's not a title. Lets all try a new word ...
RESPECT
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I want to remind all of you of the Clara necklace that i wrote about before. I received mine and i love it to pieces. See i'm wearing it a few different days. It is gorgeous and is such a great cause , make sure to go back to 2littlebirdies and help bring these little girls home to loving families, that would never use the r-word to describe these precious little girls.
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11 comments :

one_plustwins said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! That was a good, GREAT post. I wish I like girlie stuff, I would buy a necklace. I got no class...LOL I wear jeans and sweatshirts day in and day out :)

Jules said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

What a wonderful post! Great pictures of your little sweet daughter!

Amber Lee said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Thank you for letting us know how you feel and what words make you most comfortable. I must admit I find frustration (I work in behavioral health) in that whenever I use one term, a parent snaps at me. Exceptional. Differently Abled. MR. Cognatively Handicapped. I will tell you that, for me, I get less snapped at when I say "MR." I say this humbly, and as a girl with her own medical labels.

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Hi, came across your blog and can't stop reading your post. You're an amazing human being :-)
Have you ever heard of Pablo Pineda?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pablo_Pineda

Cole said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Lovely Sheva, Like you I debated letting the day pass without talking about it too- hey- that constitutes not using it right? But when I read Courtney's posts (pudge/biggs momma) I couldn't help myself either and ended up posting because I know better and I'm not afraid to say so. oxoxo

Eliana said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Wow. I discovered your blog from another blog (linked from your hot chocolate in a jar). You are one creative and amazing woman! All of your children are lucky to have such a wonderful mother. You are reminding us that we need to be kinder regardless of the individual situation.
Thank you.

Devorah said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

You are SO RIGHT!!! It really bothers me when I hear people using the r-word to describe anything!

I am in full support of eliminating this word from the vocabulary.

I love those pictures ;-)

Anonymous said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Love it! I too have that same feeling when I heard that word... is like it cuts me inside!

Lexi said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Thank you for spreading the word! People do not realize how hurtful that word is. What was once a medical term has been hijacked and used as derogatory slang. If our generation will quit using the word, then hopefully the following generation won't even have to worry about it.

Thank you from Abby and from all of the other children, just as beautiful as Rozi, who do not need to be associated with such ugliness.

Lady-Light said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Just discovered your blog, from--my daughter on Facebook! (Were you guys really in high school together? Do we know each other?) My grandson C. is coming for Pesach, and I do not use the R word!
I, too, have a blog, called Tikkun Olam.

GAMZu said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

I never thought of it from this perspective. I have always heard the campaign to stop using the r word to describe a dumb thing someone did. And yes, I hate it when I hear someone (even mothers in my HASC support group!) use the word "retarded" to describe the bus system that brings their developmentally delayed kids to school. Ironic much?

But now I see it from another point of view. If the general public won't remove the word from their vocabulary, the medical community should.
After all, "idiot" was once a medical word used to describe people who were delayed.
I also feel this way about the word "demented." It's pretty insulting towards elderly people with dementia.

thanks for giving me food for thought.