Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Moon Kinder

Yesterday we were at the zoo and a mother was in the gift shop with two children one about 5 and the other about 3. Both children were having full on earth shattering meltdowns. Were they in tears because they had to leave the zoo and didn't want to say goodbye to all their new animal friends? No. Were they hurt? No. Did they not get the exact toy they wanted? Yes.
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I know this because these small beings voiced their anger at the toy they did receive so loud and clear that anyone within a 100 miles of the scene knew this. I have to be honest in these situations i like to observe, i like to watch parents be good parents and work these situations out, and i especially love congratulating a parent when they have succeeded.
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I think there are many such moments of high five success that go unnoticed, so i like to slap a high five to a stranger mom when one is due. This day i put my hand in my pocket. These children fought with a Veruca Salt style campaign and won unanimously. I watched this scene roll out i was thinking , "are you joking me" as each screaming child left with some sort of overpriced gift shop toy that will most likely be lost within hours of arriving home. I usually try not to judge, parenting is hard, trust me i know, but come on both of those kids did not deserve the golden egg but the rotten one, if i don't say so myself.
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I realized that later that i shouldn't have judged when my Dovie harassed me for at least an hour about a stupid zoo fan he saw displayed outside the gift shop.The truth is parenting is a real seat of your pants kind of thing. Some days i think it would be so much fun to buy the stupid fan because the fun we will have makes the pennies worth spending. But more often i say no and i think that is why my kids do not flail and scream when the answer is no, they may badger me for a while, but Ive never had a Veruca Salt moment, B"H. People often ask me what is my trick how do you keep your kids from having daily meltdowns, and here is my secret.......
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I truly enjoy my kids, i mean really enjoy them. I love spending time with them i love getting on the floor to have half hour long conversations with Rozie. I love listening to Dovie's hilarious stories and i genuinely enjoy spending time with my Mel.
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Am i a perfect mom? No way.I have a lot of meltdowns myself and use a voice i am often not proud of, but i try to outweigh these moments with nature walks, aquarium trips, and going to 4 yr old baseball games that actually resemble chaos more than an organized sport.
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I miss my kids when they go to sleep at night and often try to sneak into bed with them for some extra cuddle time. My kids feel this from me and they know i love them without limits but also know that when mom says no, i mean it. Right now my house is quiet everyone is asleep including my husband, lol.
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I miss their little faces already. I want to bury my head in Rozie's hair that always smells like apple shampoo. I want to want to wake them and look for the moon and count the stars, but i know ill regret it in the morning. I love you my three little kinder from the moon and back a million billion times over!
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15 comments :

one_plustwins said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

that is good stuff right there!! :)

schap said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

that is rly amazing... i rly hope to be able to be the same in the future IYH...

Anna Theurer said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

As usual, your posts are very thought-provoking and I love that! One a side note, Rozie's hair is getting so long :-) Love the braid.

Devora said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Love the braid in Rozie's hair!

Great post!

Debra said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Great post. Thanks for your insight.

debra said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Thank you for your insight.

Team Lando said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

I can tell that you are also so happy to have your oldest home! Beautiful post!

Carolina said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Can Rozie get any cuter? I mean her hair is so long, her smile is contagious and those gold bangles are fabulous!!!!

Sheva said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Thanks guys, you know its so funny Rozie just got a major haircut ,4 inches. I think no one noticed because i always kept her hair up before,lol

Elle said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Beautiful thoughts abut your children! Perhaps you can use your knowledge and experience to encourage moms who aren't as naturally mothering as yourself. Many moms struggle not because they lack love, but they lack know-how of how to love a child. So many parents themselves comes from loveless (or dysfunctional) homes that they just don't know how to raise their own kids.
I came from a very dysfunctional home myself and I have learned every good habit I have by watching and learning from my dear friends. I literally had no idea how to be patient, or what to say when my kid was nagging etc. I had to learn all these things as an adult as I was not treated with the type of respect I would like t give my own children. Though love and passion for my children comes very naturally to me, the know-how of how to raise them and show them this love didn't. BH I have good friends to learn from! But It is very hard during moments of failure when you know there is that perfect mom in the corner watching you and making judgments on your failure. Sometimes the crushing sense of responsibility to "know it all" when you just don't can make you feel so depleted.
Use you beautiful joy for motherhood to be a light to those who are anything but joyful. Perhaps you could gives those moms a word of encouragement, or teach class in your community etc. There needs to be more people like you who can teach people like me just how to bless their children with the exceeding love they feel is trapped with in them.

Sheva said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Thank you for your comment Elle. I agree there is a need for parenting classes. I do see in my community a lot of phone conference classes available. I have never done one but many of my friends have and loved them. If you email me i can give you some info.As for the judging i agree i shouldn't have judged and i try not too that is why i made the point that my son turned on me later and i felt "that's what i get for judging". I also learned a lesson that day.
Let me finish with this . There are many of us myself included that were raised in dysfunctional homes, but passing that dysfunction on is not something im interested in doing, and i sounds like you don't want to either. The point i was making here in this article is that sometimes weeding through the dysfunction is simple as actually enjoying your kids. Sit on the floor and play with them. Take time without other distractions and spend time with them. Get to know them on their own level. You would be surprised how far simple gestures can really go. Thanks again for your comment it was all true and very thought provoking.

GAMZu said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

I just stumbled upon your blog, and I can't believe i haven't found you before! A frum mommy blog, with gorgeous children, awesome photos (and lots of them!), and the chronicling of day to day life... Ah, this is blogger heaven. :)

Glad I found you! Adding you to my list. :)

Devorah said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Love your blog (emailed you to say so last week too) and I wish they could package the stuff you have that fills you with love and makes you know how to parent. We all have it sometimes but it sounds like you got an extra dose :)

Jennifer Horner said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

I love your blog and your story. So touching, and smart and funny too!
my daughter has Ds too, Vivian just turned 3. You have beautiful children, thanks for writing!!

Devorah said... Best Blogger Tips [Reply to comment] Best Blogger Templates

Love this post and these pictures!!

Your children are so lucky to have a mother like you!