A bump in the royal Crown

Every Shabbos i light my candles and go into my long list of personal prayers, the list is lengthy as you could imagine, but one prayer i always add in the very end is "please let my husband and family be safe walking to and from Shul". I know this seems so simple , but Baltimore is not known as the safest place in the world, and unfortunately there have been attacks on the Jewish community, and it scares me.
Yesterday i went to meet Dovie and my husband on their way home from Shul and as i could see them in the distance i noticed something that didn't look right. As they got closer i realized Dovie had a bump on his head about the size of a small egg. I think my heart dropped into my feet and i felt my breath skip a few intakes. It looked terrible but he was fine, it happened earlier in the morning and he was over it.

( this pic taken after a lot of arnica, looks so much better)
It made me think about how quickly a life can change. One day your pregnant and the next thing you know you are giving birth to a world you never knew before. One day your planning your daughters birthday party and the next day a simple check-up reveals the scariest diagnosis a mother can get ( for herself). One day your daughter refuses to stand the next day she is standing like she knew what to do her entire life. One day you feel like you will never wake up from a scary fog you are living in and one day everything seems ok again and the sky looks pretty clear. This is life its happy, its joy, its scary, its exciting, its LIFE and i love it soooo much.
I love you life!!!
Maybe because its the Jewish month of Adar and Adar means only one thing JOY. I love Adar i feel it all the way to my bones. The Simcha of this time of year comes out of me like a huge ray of fun and excitement. I love love love Purim and start planning months in advance. I have so much joy in making little costumes for my kids and planning our Shalach-Manos( gift baskets)

I can not wait and have so much to share with you guys but how about a little project to get us in the mood...
MINI CROWNS
( i wish i could take credit for this project but i found it online and i don't remember where)

Cut your toilet paper tube in half,
and then cut little points to make a crown.
One tube makes two crowns.


Paint or color as you like.
Attach String by punching holes and tying.
Now put it on and get in the mood!


SMILE ITS ADAR!!!
And don't forget the Giveaway it ends Wendesday!

A beautiful giveaway just for you!

I have another amazing sponsor here at MyShtub.
MaddyNbella is a stunning Etsy shop found here.
Courtney from MaddyNbella sent me the most beautiful necklace and i have to share it with all of you.

It is a mini envelope hung on a sterling silver chain, but when you open it up it has the cutest little note in it saying "I love you".

I know you are telling me that you love me Mr. Necklace, but really I love you even more!

(don't ask once i have the camera in hand i cant stop)
This is not the only beautiful thing in her shop she has an ocean of amazing, gorgeous, vintage, and modern inspired jewelry. Here are a few of my favorites...

But that is not all folks.........
MaddyNbella want to give a little something to one special winner her at MyShtub. Could it be you?Are you a winner?

Of course you are!
Now lets play....
To enter this amazing Giveaway....
1. Please visit MaddyNbella here and comment what is your absolute favorite item
2. Go to facebook and like her page here you should do that anyways, becasue really whats not to like
3. Also make sure to add her shop as one of your favs on Etsy
4. Don't forget to follow Myshtub
5. And like Myshtub on facebook here , because i like you
Each of the above things you do gets you a separate entry into the contest. Comment separately because the more comments the more chance to win!
Good Luck
The Giveaway will end one week from today

A spring in my step and snow in my hair

I realized, that i have a tendency to start with a weather report. I want to officially apologize to all my readers for "discussing the weather" way to often, and i promise it will taper down as soon as the warm hits. We had an amazing Friday with temperatures hitting almost 70, my little town lit up. I could hear kinderlach playing outside again and the air smelled like spring. I even picked some branches for a centerpieces because i couldn't resist their tiny new blooms.

Today it snowed. What can i say?
My Mel was here this weekend and as i soaked up the warm weather i soaked up having all three of my kinder home. That in itself feels like spring. I spent a little one on one with my big guy and we went to a paint your own pottery place.

You know the places they charge you a million dollars for a piece of unfinished pottery that you paint, but I'm a sucker and its so much fun to pick up your shiny glazed art a week later. I also got an awesome deal on Groupon so it was worth every penny.


We also had a Shul dinner this week, not such interesting news for you guys but it was an awesome night and one of my firsts without little ones pulling my tail feathers.We were featured on the video presentation, and i thought you guys might like to see it.

Chabad of Park Heights from Focal Point Productions on Vimeo.

We also have a winner for the Giveaway!!!!!
Using my online friend the "Random Number Generator" our winner is
stacythemagnificentmommy with her comment:love the hot pink lipstick at work necklace!
Mazel Tov!!
We also have another Giveaway this week from a new sponsor. I'll post more tomorrow about this fabulous shop but a little eye candy to hold you over, never hurt anyone...

Check her shop out here

Good Shabbos my Loves!

We are having unseasonable warm weather and i am soaking up every bit of it. I hope that each and everyone of you have a healthy , happy, safe, peaceful, enjoyable,and Good Shabbos!


And don't forget to enter the Giveaway it ends Monday!

http://myshtub.blogspot.com/2011/02/nachas-and-giveaway.html

Nachas and a GIVEAWAY!! Entry time now closed, winner announced tomorrow!

We often talk about nachas from our children. I guess the best way to define the yiddish word nachas would be pride, but i like to also add the definition of joy because having nachas is having pride and joy. My kinderlach give me nachas by the handful. I don't know if they are extra special or i just like to take it where i can get it. I feel pride in my children at least a hundred times a day. I can be something big like a 4 yr old explaining the weeks Torah portion at the Shabbos table, or the 4 yr old that gave his sister a quick hug when he thought no one was looking. Nachas is also when i get phone calls from my son's Rabbi saying how wonderful he is doing, how he is learning so much and really thriving, such nachas.

Nachas for my Rozie has turned a whole new leaf from me. I never knew i could feel such a strong pride for a child over the tiniest things. I remember when she was a few months old and we were working so hard to get her to swat at a toy in the air. One day she took a little shaky tiny arm and hit that toy with all the strength she had. I carried so much pride from that moment i actually thought i was going to need a new wardrobe to fit all this pride.

Rozie has to be taught to do everything, from sitting to crawling to playing with toys.

It all has to be taught to her, but once she gets it she really gets it. I spend so much of my day on the floor with her, showing her the world. She started crawling about a month ago, and i had so much nachas. I don't know if it was the months of trying to get her to crawl, but when she took that first crawling step i about fell to the ground with all the nachas i had that very moment. We are still excited about it, a month later. Every once in awhile one of us will say "wow look at her go", such nachas.

Recently Rozie started to stand some holding onto things. I am thrilled with this, her doctors and PT were a little concerned and we discussed braces for her legs. Than about a week of crawling she decided to pull up.
Here is what is interesting,i have huge nachas for all my kids, but i seem to just assume and not notice as much with my other two. I can honestly say i don't remember when my boys first swatted a toy or stood holding on. I don't remember when either one pushed the button of a toy for the first time or learned to roll a ball. We let these things fly by us without notice, almost with an expectation. My Rozie has slowed me down, and i sit with wonder with everything she does. I cried when she pushes a button for the first time, or when she crawled across the room, such nachas. People often say "may you have nachas from your kinderlach" I look at them and say "Amen", and in my head i'm thinking "you don't even know".

We have a new sponsor here at MyShtub........

I found the shop Two little Birdies on Etsy and i knew i had to promote her. Not only does she make the most gorgeous and unique things, but she also supports a cause close to my heart.
See these gorgeous necklaces. Well when you buy one a portion from the sale go to Reece's Rainbows to help two little sweet girls. The necklaces are named after the girls, Clara and Sophie. These little girls need a home so they can give their forever parents as much nachas as our Rozie gives us.

Two Little Birdies also wants to give something to you....
I am so excited to announce the Two Little Birdies Ring Giveaway

These gorgeous rings have been in the gift bags for the Golden Globes Gift lounge
and will be in the gift bags at Kids Choice Awards in March. How exciting!!
Here is all you have to do to enter the Giveaway for the gorgeous ring above. I will announce the winner in one week from today....
To enter please go to Two little Birdies shop here and
1. Comment here what your favorite item is
2. Become a 2 Little Birdies fan on facebook here
3. Add 2 Little Birdies shop as one of your favorite on Etsy
Each
4. Blog or leave a link on facebook about this Giveaway
5. Become a follower on MyShtub
6. "Like" MyShtub on Facebook here
The more times you enter the more chances you have to win!
{leave a separate comment for each entry completed ie..I blogged about the Giveaway, or I shared on Facebook}

My Friday is crazy..wordless post

Could you not eat her up?

Fog lights

I know ive left you all kinda hanging out there. I dropped this bomb of a post and just left you, but im here, we're just trying to figure out where here is. I've been kind of walking around in this fog, not so thick that i cant see and i need help getting out, but a fog that just makes everything so unclear and you try to put on your brights but it doesn't help the fog has settled and you kind of have to feel around and figure it out. So im trying to figure it out and im hoping it will move on and let me live this life i have been so blessed with, because i need to see my husband and kids with clear eyes, this blurry fog should not be part of my technicolor world.I woke up Monday morning and this is what my house stated to look like , and smell like.

I realized that even though my vision is off i have to get back to it, so i did the usual i pulled out my camera.

I'm not a photographer never have been and never wanted to , then one day my friend posted on Facebook that she was selling her camera and i knew i had to buy it, don't ask why. See her blog here.Little did i know how far it would take me, little did i know that i would get me out of some of the foggiest days. So i took out old trusty and you know what it helped, it really did.

Rozie is a crawling champ now we have coined her "seek and destroy" or "captain destructo", i don't think i need to explain why.

These two are so in love. Rozie crawls around all day looking for him when he is at school calling his name "Deevivvie"

I just want to point out here, are these eyes on both of them not amazing? My little blues in the house of brown.
I also realized i had a project i never posted and wanted to share, so enjoy!
Personalized Pennant banner
You will need...
1. scissors
2. Hot glue gun
3. Fabric scraps
4. Branches
5. White spray paint
6. Felt
First thing i did was find branches in my yard, then i spray painted them. I bought the cheapest paint in the store, big mistake. It was more like milky water, in the future i will only stick to Krylon brand. I also let them air out outside for a day so my kids room wouldn't smell of paint.

Next came the fabric. first i iorned it to make sure everything was nice and crisp.

Then i cut the fabric. I made a triangle template out of paper and used it to cut all my triangles so they were the same size.I actually taped the template down and cut right through the tape. I decided not to sew these, so i used pinking sheers so the fabric would not fray.

Now its time to pick a coordinating felt for the letters. I used my favorite Hebrew font on Word called "FrankRuehl". I blew up the letters to about the size of a sheet of paper and used them as a template. Luckily Dovie and Rozie have some of the same letters in their name so i cut two at a time.

Lastly i hot glued the letters and the triangles onto my branches


Looks cute , right? I actually love their room so much, its my favorite room . One day i'll do a room tour here.
I want to thank everyone for the outpour of support it has been amazing, and I'm trying to return each and every email and message, so please don't think i didn't notice. Evey note, every comment, every letter is what is getting me through this. Thank you my village.

I will crawl again....

For some reason we only associate milestones with babies. We talk a lot about what milestone our child has or has not hit, and one day it just stops. Our children reach certain age and milestones are no longer used to describe our children's achievements. We use a different language when a child grows we use words like meeting goals, and maturity levels, but really life is a milestone. Milestones are not just learning to crawl and walk but learning to grow, becoming an adult, becoming someone we like and feel good about. I have had many milestones in my life. I had a different childhood that took some healing to move past.

I had very hard teenage years ( i was literally mad at the entire world for about 7 years)and in time i matured past those days.

I married a great man and became a wife and tried hard in those beginning years to do it well, but i often failed.

(doesn't my husband look so young here)

I became a mommy very young and forced the maturity of becoming a parent probably way before i was ready. I grew into those years and being a wife and mom started to become second nature and easy and really enjoyable.




I hit a milestone.

I had a baby exactly 18 months ago and she turned out to be so different and so much more than i ever expected. I often doubted my ability in the last year, but i can honestly say i hit a huge milestone and have accepted parenting a child with special needs with pure joy and happiness.

What a huge milestone!
I am now in a new stage of my life. I am in a stage where i am learning what it means to be sick, what it means to not have the control we all mistakenly think we have. I am learning that doctors will sometimes give you great advice, and sometimes their words can hit so deep and hard. I am learning to trust, and also let go. I am learning that we rely so much on what a doctor tells us , but really it is Hashem who decides. These are all new milestones I'm hitting. New levels of understanding. I recently received bad news form a doctor, remember back here when i discussed my condition. The doctors originally felt i could live a pretty normal symptom free life, now many months later they decided to change their story. They fear that this very slow growing form of leukemia is actually showing up as a more aggressive than they thought. I have never had tears flood my eyes so quickly and so uncontrollably in my life. Me the pillar of strength melted on a bench in the middle of a hospital flooding my eyes with sadness, right in front of my children. I was alone with two kids and no one cared, people just walked by. I guess the bench right outside of the cancer institute is often filled with tears, and people stopped paying mind. This is new to me. I don't fall apart because i trust Hashem, but for the first times in my life i said in loud clear words standing in a parking garage holding the stroller with one hand and a juice box in the other "I am so mad at you Hashem, I HATE YOU" and i threw that juice box as far as i could throw it. Dovie started to cry because i threw his juice box, and i couldn't fix it because it was so gone.
The truth is i don't hate Hashem i just needed to tell him that i was mad like a child that screams i hate you, i think Hashem knew that.
I kept Dovie home from school yesterday and we went to the toy store. I told him you can have anything in this store, anything. We had so much fun. We played on the mini power wheels, and i showed him my hula hoop skills. I hope he forgave me.
This is my new milestone my new goal. I will reach this milestone whatever it may be and move on to the next. I will learn to crawl again if i need to, and i will take my first steps, but i will do it, i will conquer and achieve. This cancer WILL NOT TAKE ME DOWN IT WILL NOT!!!! I will see each and every one of my children to the Chuppah including Rozie, yes you read that right,my Rozie WILL get married, without a doubt, and i will be there. I will fight through tears and win through tears. I will not let the doctors push me around i am stronger than that. I will call my village if that is what i need. I will force some of you to get on airplanes or drive many hours, but i will call you.

This is not the end it is a beginning.
Thank you Hashem, i dont hate you, for the amazing blessings in my life.
Modeh Ani....
I love you my 3 kinderlach from the moon and back a million billion trillion times over.